Cry of Fear: Placeholder
by turtaniumX
Summary: A scrapped story I started months ago and never bothered to finish. Decided to put it here anyway.


"I don't know what I'm trying to do here, and I don't want to know. I didn't want any of this, nor did I ever want to become."

It was a cold time for him, when all hope has been lost. Where can he possibly turn to? You would expect him to know where he was going, but you couldn't possibly have known. And yet, when he felt betrayed and cold inside, he still had no sympathy left for anyone.

He was an ordinary student living alone in the suburbs of an ill-treated metropolis. It was only just then did he realize his mistake for his actions. _For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction._ That was Isaac Newton's third law. It was only then did he wake up from his dream, lying awake on the floor at 6 AM.

"You can't hide from your past forever," his self-conscious once told him. "It'll haunt you until the day you die."

That wasn't the exact words of hope that he was looking for. He forced himself off the cold floor and began to walk towards the door of his room.

As he stepped out into the hallway, he had no memory of what he was doing. It was almost like he had sudden amnesia. When he reached the kitchen, there was a little slimmer of light coming from the direction of what appeared to be the window.

"I didn't remember leaving the fridge open when I went to sleep," Simon commentated, "Something feels horribly wrong here."

He hastily went over to his phone lying there on the counter. His hands were trembling nervously when he went over to pick it up. He switched it on and there was a new message.

"_Hey, I know what you're thinking. I know how you feel, young one. I know you, Simon, but you don't know me. You don't know yourself. She doesn't care."_

He didn't have any clue what the cryptic message meant. He put the phone down and wandered around to inspect his living quarters some more. Apart from the fridge, everything else seems to be normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. He breathed a sigh of relief as he went back to his bedroom, eager to continue his dreams from where he left off. Simon was never a believer in lucid dreaming, but he could probably induce it if he really tried. He's already done part of the technique yet, all he needs to do now is doze off while concentrating on dreaming.

Another hour went by as he laid there, motionless in his bed. He woke up again with a loud thud. He'd just rolled off his bed and was trying to put the pieces together.

The clock read 5 AM. _How does the clock go backwards.. unless..._ As Simon figures out the truth, he found out that the last time he was awake was in fact in dreaming. He didn't forget this particular dream. He didn't forget this dream. _Why? _He thought once more. _Why would I be able to recall this specific dream? I don't have..._

His willpower was cut off from a sudden lack of energy. He hadn't had the faintest idea and just before he was able to realize what was happening, his surroundings abruptly dropped in darkness

* * *

It was a Wednesday morning when he came to. Simon didn't roll out of bed this time, he simply fainted on the ground from when he was last awake. He started questioning reality, but those thoughts soon passed over.

"It's 7:47. Ah, damnit. I'm going to be late for school!"

He was able to finish his preparations for school and started to feast on breakfast. Everything had happened so fast that he wasn't able to process it all. He still felt drowsy from his absolute lack of sleep these past two days. Simon then donned his grey hoodie and his backpack.

When he was sure he was done, he opened the front door and stepped out into the hallway. _The same old hallway. I remember how this place was actually alive six years ago._ The thought went through him like any other normal one and just like that, he was on the stairwell. His home was only on the second floor. The environment seems rather dull for such a spacious building, as there was a worn out sofa in a room of which was once the lobby.

Simon stepped outside into the real world. He wasn't actually dreaming this time. His lack of sleep has done things to his mind. It was mostly lacking brain power, and his thoughts became number as he trudged away on the concrete sidewalk. He checked his phone for the time, which read _8:09 AM. _He wasn't as late as he thought he was. He'd just realized that his gloves were forgotten at home as his hand started turning numb. His black and comfortable gloves were left at home.

He started to pick up the pace when the rain started piss down. He was somewhat weighed down by the weight of his backpack as he was assigned a plethora of homework.

It was winter and the city of Fäversholm didn't look too bright. Snow was still present in the grass fields, melting away ever so slowly. The backdrops were misty and white with fog. The temperature was dropped down to very freezing amounts, even inside his home; the apartment's heating system broke down in the fall and his parents haven't got anybody to fix it. At least his breath wasn't visible in his apartment.

The school eventually came into view in the fog. He was met with a sudden rush of fatigue as he slowed his pace. _Man_, he thought, _I haven't been keeping in shape. _It would make sense, having been lazy the last few days. Simon drew another conclusion that his lack of sleep could be to blame.

Simon entered the school. It was a completely normal day, the way he saw it as he strolled on through the hallways. Nothing really bizarre was going on, which to him was a surprise. The lack of drama is definitely not a thought, though. He wasn't shocked about that fact; there was drama all over the high school. There was always drama. Why else would Simon be so quiet all this time? It wasn't exactly something he'd be surprised to know. It's always been like that.

As the bell rang as a warning for the first period to begin, he began his daily routine for high school. Simon entered his English classroom like any other usual day. A voice called out to him as Simon was making his way to his desk.

"Hey Simon!" It was his friend, Joe.

"Oh, hello." Simon responded with the hint of being fatigued in his voice. "I didn't really get that much sleep this week." Simon sat next to his friend in an empty chair

"I can tell," Joe added without the sign of any surprise. "You never really get enough sleep any more now, do you.

Simon couldn't deny the obvious. "Yeah, I don't really sleep anymore."

"I could tell by your voice and your eyes. You look stoned as hell."

The bell rang and the class went back to their normal seats.

"I'll talk to you later, Joe," Simon finished as he started to return to his seat. The teacher arrived into the class and started the lesson after quickly taking attendance.

"There was an essay assigned last week," Mr. Freeman stated. "I'll be checking to see all you guys hand it in."

The class was awoken and soon people scrambled out of their seats and rushed over to the hand-in box. Simon, however, didn't join the stampede

As Joe was walking over to the front, he paused to see what the matter with him was. "Hey, why aren't you handing yours in?"

"Uh. I forgot to print mine out," Simon responded.

"Damn. Well, you know Mr. Freeman. He's going to give you a hard time for forgetting homework."

"I know." Simon only replied with two words; he was too tired to say anything more.

As the class was finished with handing in their essays, Freeman noticed that Simon was the only one who didn't hand it in.

"Oh, Simon," he began. "You know, you're not going _anywhere_ in school at this rate..." He simply kept ranting on and on. Freeman finished his talking with assigning Simon with a small talk after school.

"Tough luck, dude," Joe remarked as he turned to glance over at Simon. He had a face of despair.

"It is always like this. He's always so jumpy about people forgetting homework." Simon noticed Freeman was walking back to his desk and stopped talking. Joe followed suit.

The school bell rang once more and all of his pupils rushed out of the room. Simon blinked. He needed somewhere to sleep. He proceeded to casually exit the classroom and located a spot. He looked around and saw Joe approach him.

"So, why haven't you been getting enough sleep?" Joe asked. Simon's eyes were half shut.

"Well, I've been messaging people on Facebook." Simon's speech seemed to come out with an unnatural tone.

"You message people late at night?"

"Yeah." Simon was now lying down on the ground, attempting to sleep. His eyes were fully closed.

"You know you need to talk to people more in person instead of behind a digital screen." Joe briefly paused to sit down with Simon. "I've been there before and I know how hard it is to do it since you're all shy and stuff. I was once that shy guy too."

"I know you were. I remember you back in the day."

Joe pulled out his phone to check the time. "Well, I need to go now. Class starts in a few minutes. You might as well get up."

Simon opened his eyes. Joe was gone now. Simon glanced at his watch. _10:09 AM_. Class starts in 6 minutes. He got up and started to walk over to his locker.

Simon didn't feel like going to school, he never did. He didn't look forward to anything at school. His science class went by in a blur; he obviously wasn't paying attention much in class since always sat alone and he ends up sleeping most of the time.

As Simon was walking into the cafeteria to sit where he usually sat, he didn't notice anything unusual. The "populars" of the school, as he called them, were stationed at their usual place of congregation. _Of course they're there. It's one of the things I expect from them_. He proceeded to walk to his usual post and sat down. His daily routine.

Simon was eating all alone. He needed to be alone to think. _What was that message in the dream about?_ He'd remember a brief message in his dream last night. _What did it mean "she didn't care"? Who sent that message to me anyway?_

Before he knew it, he caught sight of Sophie entering the cafeteria. He stared at her intently. _I was messaging her last night, _Simon thought, _I wouldn't be surprised if she ignores me like the others I tried to talk to. _She returned the stare and she started to look around. _She seems to be under peer-pressure of coming over to talk to a guy like me, _Simon thought once more. Sophie eventually walked over to where Simon was after a few moments.

Sophie was wearing her usual outfit: a white hoodie and denim blue jeans. She seems like a normal high school student.

"I see you're sitting over here all alone. Maybe if you didn't intensely stare much, people would actually talk," Sophie started jokingly. She was sitting next to Simon now.

"Sorry, I've just been... really tired lately," Simon mumbled.

"I know. You know, I'll always be here for you," Sophie said in a friendly tone.

"How do I know _you_ won't ignore me? The last time someone said that to me was a lie," warned Simon, "Why would I expect a popular to care about me?" He remembered the person who pretended to care. Fuck them.

Sophie started to take out her lunch. "Well, first, I'm eating with you. You're always eating alone, figured it would make you feel better."

Simon was slightly taken aback by her condolences. "I-uh don't know what to say..." Simon didn't meet her in the eye.

Sophie sighed. "It's the first time I said this to anyone, really." She was nervously scanning the area. "I know you understand that I can't be _always_ be with you."

Simon now looked her directly in the eye. His heart was thumping hard. "I know. It's the first time _anyone_ said this me." Simon was wondering as his heart was thumping wildly from this sudden endearment from a friend. He wondered if she really wanted to make me feel better.

Sophie took a bite out of her sandwich and hesitated before devouring the bite sized piece. "I know, Simon."

Simon took his gaze off and focused it on his lunch. His eyes started to shut, slowly. He looked over at Sophie and began to speak. "I'm very tired. You mind at all if I sleep right now?"

Sophie shook her head. _Of course she would let me sleep. She probably wants to get away from me._

* * *

Simon woke up on the cafeteria bench. She was gone. _Probably left when I fell asleep, _he concluded. He looked around and most of the people have already left the cafeteria. Still tired, he stood up and began to walk out of the canteen. He found himself in the hallway that was once deserted; now it's the hallway was filled a great many of people. The sun still wasn't shining as the gloom outside lurched towards the windows. The hallway reeked of old french fries that were spilled on the ground, unclean messes that make the school look like a dump.

School soon ended and Simon made his way over to his English teacher's room for an expected punishment. He showed no emotion when asked why he didn't hand it in on time. Simon was so apathetic, it almost surprised Freeman. Simon served his usual detention time in the classroom, sitting there in a desk i an empty room, contemplating the thoughts of being alone in solitude.

Simon was almost about to burst out some tears when his detention ended. His mother couldn't care less when he arrived home. He locked himself in his room, frantically pacing for the door lock. He switched the knob and _click_. Just like that, he locked himself up.

He lied down on the bed slowly and started to think. The world outside started to become covered in darkness as day turns into night. The last hour of sun silhouettes from trees were projected onto Simon's closed blinds. _Nobody cares about me, _he thought, _I am hopeless. I hate myself. _He carefully wiped a tear from his eye as he gradually got up from his bed.

He powered on his computer and waited for it to start up. The cooling fans whirred violently from the dust build up within the case. Simon never bothered to clean his computer; he didn't believe such task needed to be done. He didn't have any motivation. Except for Sophie. _Of course. Sophie and Joe are the only ones who care about me. High school was always a sickening social experiment anyway, people warned us from the start. We never listened._

The desktop finished starting up and Simon hovered the mouse over Google Chrome. He then typed into the address bar. The first thing he checked was the chat window. Much to Simon's dismay, Sophie wasn't online. He briefly eyed her profile picture before closing the window. He checked the computer's time. _4:36 PM_. Simon's wristwatch was off by a couple of minutes. Checking the time reminded him to take off his watch, and that was the next action he took. He proceeded to his bed and began to lie down once more for a nap.

* * *

Simon was awake again. He got up from his bed and sat over at his computer. _5:38 PM._ He checked on Facebook once more, and Sophie was on.

"_Hey_," Simon typed. He waited for a brief amount of time before she replied.

"_Oh, hi_," Sophie responded, "_Why do you talk to me anyway?_"

"_Huh? What do you mean?_" Simon was surprised to hear her ask that.

"_Why is a person like you talking to me anyway? Did you randomly decide to talk to me?_"

Simon thought about it for a while, and finally replied, "_I don't really have an answer. I guess I wanted someone to talk to._"

"_Oh well I need to go now. Bye!_" Sophie finished.

"_Bye_," Simon quickly typed. He sighed, for his only friend was gone again. Simon was always looking for a way. He still hasn't found it.

He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. The fridge was empty besides the leftovers from last night and a few other products. He shut the fridge and went back to his room to fall asleep once more.

Simon awoke standing on a platform. The area that encircled his was dark and black as the night. He merely looked around without a word but was still shocked. The platform appeared to be suspended in mid-air with no supports.

"Why did you do it?" a voice echoed in the darkness. "Why did you say it?"

"I didn't fucking know. I didn't mean for her to think that!" Simon yelled back. "She hates me now, and it's my fault. _I didn't fucking know it would end up like that._" Simon was shivering with anger by now.

"Oh, Simon. How'd you make it better? How'd you help her see that you had a heart?" the unknown voice inquired.

"I promised her I would talk to Sophie. I don't plan on breaking promises, especially not after what I've done to her!" Simon was now filled with fear and looked around nervously. He's yelled louder than he yelled before into the solitude of the endless plain. "Who the fuck are you?" Simon asked in an irritated way.

The voice replied with the slightest hint of enjoyment in the tone. "Good. Good, Simon. You're talking to yourself." Simon could feel himself walking around when he really wasn't walking. "I am you, and I hate you. _Forever._"

The platform suddenly collapsed and Simon was plunged into a dark pit. Messages and signs started to appear as he freefalled into the depths below.. _It was my fault that we're no longer friends. And I feel like a more horrible person, having laughed at that fact, _Simon recalled with a bitter feeling, _think about it. You're just Simon Henriksson, a person who spends his time on the internet. Nobody wants to, let's say, talk or hang out with you._

There was a message from Sophie in the darkness, as his phone was buzzing in his pocket. He took his phone out while still plummeting and checked the message.

_Wake up, Simon._

But he didn't want to wake up. He _never_ does.


End file.
